As I travel and live as I choose I find that the world through my eyes is forever evolving both in the way I see the world and the way the world sees me.

            Experiences may build our character but we decide whom in the end we are; and make decisions that others around us judge us by.  In your own eyes you see me and in my eyes I see you but our perceptions will forever be different because of different views.  However, perceptions are fluid and based off our beliefs and personal likings as much as dis-likings. 

            How easily I can miss my past at times where often I didn’t think and often acted without thought at all to what all I was doing in other people’s perceptions; ignorance perhaps but none-the-less a way of living.  Insults were never meant because the insult was never seen, and hindsight is 20/20.  The reason for envying my own past of being a bit of a bigot is because if you don’t realize what you are then often there can be no regret, hence a care-free life almost.  True question would be is such existential living in happiness good or bad and from whose perspective? 

            From the sight I have now though life can be more because no longer do I unintentionally hurt people, and usually still stay happy J can’t keep a good dog, or cat, down.  How happy are you now?  Why?  Out of hurt in the past the experience of sadness is caused mostly by loneliness or by the afflictions of a love.   A couple crying each have a shoulder to rest on, sleep on, hold on, hit on, fight with, move with, dance with, parry with, and love with.  Alone there is no rest and only sadness.

            Live every day like it is your last?  What, who came up with that load of crap … well the natural response is fuck that I want to live my way.  Does that mean living not giving a damn about anything, well that’s up to you and your ambitions.  If your goal is to be a wealthy ruler of the world, then that’s probably not the way to succeed.  Gradual progress achieves the medium of success the best; love at first sight is possible but I’ve only got damned close so far. 

            Looking into the mirror and being able to say that this is you.  Once I stared at magazines wishing to be able to look like that model in the underwear … but you know I’ll never look like that; I’ll keep on working out and someday maybe I’ll get close; doubts about that always remain though.  In the end if you walk around naked enough you get used to the idea that your body is yours; at least I did.  We all have to be able to live with ourselves in every aspect; can be healthy for all your life sure but nothing human physically lasts forever. 

            Feeling music

            Feeling a breeze in summer

            Feeling heated passion

            Feeling at home

            Feeling relaxed

            Feeling comfort

            Feeling her in my arms

            Feeling … her tears

                        … her happiness

                        … her sorrows

                        … her face

                        … her success

                        … her loss

                        … her love

                        … and furious love